Excuse the Mess


Renovation is messy. And part of us wants to just hide all the mess, but we feel it is far more important to be transparent about what we are working on.

At Wildflower, we built our business around the idea that we will always push ourselves to find a more compassionate approach. And that has led to some pretty significant changes over the past few weeks. 

In short, we have doubled down on our commitment to our human clients. They are at the centre of everything we do, but re-iterating this commitment gave us a more focused lens with which we look at the world and our business.

And a few things surfaced that made us realize we had to change things up.

Our survey system, an innovation we are quite proud of, suddenly came into question. As many of our clients know, we check in on a pre-defined schedule with a few key questions to understand the impact and effectiveness of our programs and how things are proceeding from their perspective.

But we now realize there were a couple fundamental flaws: the system recorded responses in a way that we could only review if we logged in to check on them. This led to some clients leaving us with requests for assistance that we weren't seeing for days, or worse, for more than a week.

The questions were also biased; they were designed around fixing a problem and as a result focused almost entirely on the dog, not the human.

So we are in the midst of completely overhauling our survey system and the long-term study at the foundation of it. The new system notifies us immediately with the individual survey results while also integrating those results into our Customer Relationship Management system. So now, all of our staff can see the goals and program notes, past emails and, starting today, the ability to see the survey results and any corresponding concerns that have been raised. 

The new survey you will be seeing.

The new survey you will be seeing.

In addition, we have completely overhauled our Behaviour Modification packages.

The new program includes more follow-up sessions but also has a more streamlined sign-up process and is now built entirely around the relationship goals of our human clients. We found ourselves spending too much time lecturing and focusing on how to fix a behavioural problem and not enough answering the question, "What does a good day look like for you and your dog?"

Our clients come to us because they adore their dog and want to have a positive and rewarding relationship together. And while our tools were effective at changing the dog's behaviour, by focusing on the problem and not the desired relationship outcome, we saw that we were too easily failing our client's expectations.

This change to the program has also led to an overhaul of the materials we use and even how we behave in our in-home sessions. It's too early to report on what the results of all this are, but we can say that the feedback from clients experiencing the new program has been overwhelming. And that feels amazing.

We owe a lot of this to a conversation on the frames with which we see the world led by Alexanda Kurland at the Training Thoughtfully conference in Milwaukee. She urged us to explore our frame of reference and to learn how to build a shared frame with those we work and interact with in the world.

Our shared frame lies in the relationship our clients yearn for with their canine friends. Their dog's fear, anxiety and subsequent aggression impacts this relationship, not to mention the safety and emotional well-being of everyone interacting with the dog.

The answer is not to lecture Mom and Dad. They are already at their wits end. They are scared, frustrated and/or concerned. They are looking for an ally and someone who can meet them where they are.

And that is why we created Wildflower Dog, to be that ally.

Trading Places

Photo by Mike Burke on Unsplash

Photo by Mike Burke on Unsplash

We recently attended the Training Thoughtfully conference in Milwaukee where a host of behaviour consultants (across species) came together to explore how we can be even more thoughtful in our positive-reinforcement work. Part of this was changing the lens we use. So for a few minutes I stopped being the trainer and became the dog.

It happened on the second night when we sat down to play the ABACAB or PORTAL game.

There are three roles: the teacher has a clicker, reward trinkets and a bunch of objects that can be manipulated, the learner (the dog, horse or human), and an observer. A key part of the game is that we can't talk, just like when we are working with a learner from another species. 

I thought this would be a novel but boring way to test the mechanics of the teacher. Oh was I in for a surprise. 

Our horses bring us to our truth. He needed her to do more than give him carrots. The treats in your pocket are not a substitute for love and appreciation. They are an expression of that love.
— Alexandra Kurland

As trainers, we are taught that consistency matters, to the point that everything magical is stripped from the experience. We are told, "Focus on the mechanics." And we idolize those who have crazy mechanical skills. "She is a machine!" 

And sure, consistency matters, but only as defined by our learner. Let's pause there. We know that reinforcement is defined by our learner. If they find it aversive, it's not a reward.

It's the same thing with consistency.

I didn't care if my teacher needed a second to reset the task. Or even if she changed up the task we were working on. I didn't care if her click was slightly off-timed. Within limits of competency, these things were not what I found myself tracking.

Instead, it was the quality of my teacher's attention. She had this way of delivering my trinket. Her attention would focus on me. Her face would light up. And she would place it in my hand in a way that said it was a cherished item. I felt special. I felt like I had done something truly wonderful.

And then she would get distracted, as we all do. She had to configure the next task or quickly determine how to help me, her learner. And so her attention would drift and I could feel that something was missing. The treat delivery mechanic was the same, but her attention was elsewhere and the task felt less rewarding. And in response, my attention and full participation felt less warranted. 

Our attention adds a valence on top of the reinforcer being used and it can have a positive or negative charge.

Now, I was lucky in that I had an amazing teacher who had played this game before. And these moments were brief. But it made me start to reframe so many things we see in the homes of our clients, and in my own home. 

Training is far more than the mechanics. Training can be a joyful and connecting moment for everyone involved. And the way to achieve this is to be more fully present. If we aren't laughing or feeling joy, how do we expect our learner to be feeling?

This game also showed me firsthand just how easy it is to create a moment of confusion for our learner and the unbelievable cost attached.

My teacher had me successfully moving items under a napkin and into a cup on a visual cue. And then she upped the ante by placing a large, metal water jug onto the table. I began experimenting with what I thought she might be looking for. Everything I tried resulted in no click. No reward. 

The moment of slight frustration that I experienced meant so much more to me than I ever would have predicted. I'm in a situation so alien to me. I can't ask her what the bleep she wants. 

Mistakes aren't bad in training. They are information for the learner. This was not the first time she had raised the criteria. I had been puzzled and made mistakes earlier in the game, but this quickly became different. I couldn't figure out what she wanted and I had no way to tell her that. So I started to guess.

But when I had no choice but to start guessing, my frustration bloomed. And it turns out this is not something I handle well, like many learners.

My teacher took the jug off the table and I could feel myself relaxing. She is an amazing teacher. She realized we had hit an impasse so she took us back to earlier tasks I had done successfully. And so I began to advance. I was starting to get a handle on what my teacher was asking me for when my teacher put that water jug back on the table.

I'm going to be 90 and on my deathbed and there had better not be a stainless steel water jug in the room. I never want to see that water jug again.

As soon as that water jug hit the table, I didn't want to play the game anymore. I'm not exaggerating. There was no denying this emotional response. And we laughed after because she realized it as well. The whole room did. We had quite a group gathered around us, including the amazing Alexandra Kurland and Kay Lawrence. 

My teacher quickly changed gears and actually took the jug and set it behind her under a different table. She rocks. She was sending me a clear signal that this jug would not be a part of our game anymore.

And so my performance and enjoyment bounced back. But only because my teacher recognized she needed a different approach.

And here's the kicker. 

This conditioning was still present the next day. I entered the conference room and found myself tensing up and scanning the room for those evil little water jugs. I was actually relieved to find they were not present.

How many of my own training sessions with my dog had created an unwanted negative emotional response? And what of our clients? 

Every teacher can learn so much by experiencing their methods. It is so eye opening to experience the joy of clicker training as a learner, and to witness the nuances that truly matter. And also to better understand how these tools can be used to build the relationships that we yearn for. 

P.S. This will come as a surprise to no one but me, but I'm told that I am a hyperactive lab with a bit of a competitive streak.


Finding My Beginner's Mind

I’ve been reading Pema Chodron’s book, The Places That Scare You. Before even getting into the heart of the book, I was blown away by a single sentence in the prologue.

In the beginner’s mind there are many possibilities, but in the expert’s mind there are few.
— Zen master Suzuki Roshi

It’s been on my mind ever since, haunting me. I’ve been wondering what does this mean? And why is it resonating so strongly with me right now?

I’m also obsessively exploring the idea of agency within the context of dog training. I’ve been wondering how agency might play a role in a dog’s life. How is behaviour impacted if dogs are offered more access to choices in their lives?

I found this summary of agency I quite like in the book Psychological Agency, Theory, Practice, and Culture: 

When we come to understand ourselves as agents of the world, it becomes possible for us to imagine making different choices and to relate to others and to act in different ways.
— Robert Frie (Editor), 2008

And then it happened. A beginner’s mind moment showed up in my life in a glaringly obvious way.  

I had just read a brilliantly insightful piece written by Seattle dog and primate trainer Cristine Dahl and founder of Northwest School of Canine Studies. Cristine suggests we should try taking our dogs out for a walk with zero concern for kilometres logged, number of balls tossed or frisbees thrown. To disregard the need for polite walks or heels cued and offered. But rather, to just be with our dogs.

She asks us to offer our dogs the freedom to choose how the walk will go. Our dogs might walk quickly, leaving us to pick up the pace. Or our dogs might choose to slow down and spend several minutes sniffing a blade of grass or investigating a snail meandering across the sidewalk. Whatever they choose (safety issues notwithstanding) it’s totally up to them.

We are letting our dogs determine the cadence, geographic location, terrain, etc. Our job is simply to observe and learn about our dogs - to pay attention to them without judgement. To show up in their lives in order to build a stronger connection with our dogs. Or to use Cristine’s language, to show our dogs regard. It’s that simple and beautiful.

I strongly recommend reading her article to get the full gist and perhaps give it a try yourself.

I took Cristine up on her challenge and went out into the world prepared to show my dogs regard, although my smug expert’s mind was sure I was already doing this. After all, I’m a successful and well-educated positive reinforcement trainer who doesn’t use force.

That’s when my beginner's mind moments began to appear.

  • I observed Charlie showing signs of stress when I wasn’t leading her around the neighbourhood. I wasn’t cueing her and she seemed perplexed at first and then her behaviour intensified. She just stared at me intently, panting and then barking. For half the walk we were just two lost souls looking at each other. I had to recongnize that I hadn’t really offered her much agency when on leash up to this point, so when given a bit of freedom she didn’t appear to know what to do with it.

  • I also realized Charles isn't a huge fan of bees. Or at least not this particular one. A big furry bumble was buzzing away on a leaf about a foot from where Charles was standing. She looked at it with a furrowed brow and then proceeded to walk as far away from it as she could. Who knew? I had no idea.

  • Charlie has arthritis in her back end and I thought I was being super conscious of her need for a slower pace especially when we’re walking on hard surfaces. Nope. When Charles is left to determine the pace of the walk, she chooses half the speed I normally walk with her and my other dog, Tyson.

  • Tys also shocked me. I’ve always known the guy is a big sniffer. What I didn't realize is that he will sometimes choose to stick his head in a flowerbed and totally let other dogs pass on by. All without showing any of his typical signs of aggression when on leash. I think I’ve been alerting him to dogs by flipping into training mode and forcing his attention back onto me and the other dogs when perhaps he just wanted to mind his own damn business.

This next bit is hard to write. I’m supposed to be an expert, after all. But I have to stop and remember we are all on this journey together and sometimes I need to let my beginner’s mind show me what the expert in me can’t see.

I realized I wasn’t showing my dogs the regard they deserved.

I’ve been marching Tys and Charles around my neighbourhood on leash with little regard for their needs and wants. I sincerely thought that because I had trained my dogs to walk nicely on leash using non-aversive methods, that I had satisfied the kind of walk they wanted. In my expert’s mind, I had done enough. And here’s the other thing I realized, training without regard for our dogs isn’t much different than old school traditional methods where the human commands the dog to do X and the dog is expected to respond with Y. Translation: human micro-manages their dog’s life.

I’m not using force to train, but I’m uncovering this part of me that is still steeped in the human-runs-the-show mentality. This realization has been difficult, yet hugely important for my growth as a dog parent, a dog trainer and a human in this world.  

My expert’s mind believed I had been showing my dogs regard. In my attempt to unravel agency, my beginner’s mind revealed itself and challenged me to become more observant, more patient and more curious about the dogs I’ve been entrusted to help along their journey. And perhaps most importantly to show MY beginner’s mind some regard.


Learning to Listen to Bella

Bella is an amazing and beloved little dachshund. Her Mom had come to us because of Bella's fear and anxiety around strange men and other dogs. And sure enough, our entering their house resulted in whale eye, tongue flicks, hard mouth, barking and lunging, and cowering.

Our initial session with Bella and her Mom ended with showing them how to begin using Counter Conditioning and Desensitization (CC&D) with men and other dogs in the neighborhood.

But the point of this story is not the protocols we used. It's how we stopped a protocol (twice) to listen to what Bella was telling us and the unexpected breakthroughs we started to see as a result.

Even though everything we knew said that the grassy knoll was way too close to the sidewalk, we wanted to see what Bella was trying to tell us.

It was a rare and sunny spring day when Cara and I returned for our follow-up session with Bella. We were quite impressed with the improvements we were seeing and opted to move onto a simplified BAT protocol.

In a nutshell: Mom takes a step forward and sees if Bella wants to walk with her. If so, they approach a stressor (me) and then Mom stops at a safe distance, allowing Bella to sniff, stare and gather information. The moment Bella turns to look at Mom, her Mom marks the behaviour and they turn and run away from the stressful Sean’ster.

We began with Mom and Bella 30 feet away from Sean, but Bella wasn't having any of it. She didn't want to take a single step closer. Mom couldn’t help herself. She began to tug Bella forward. They had to practice, after all, and the two professionals were watching. But we asked Mom to just turn and walk away. And boom, Bella was MORE than happy to walk away from the strange man.

Bella was asking for more space, not less. Once they were about 50 feet away, Bella happily participated in the simplified BAT protocol, marching forward most confidently to stare at the strange man on the sidewalk (me).

Things were going stellar. Bella and Mom were marching up and down the walkway in front of their house. It was a hot day, but the trees and buildings kept us in the shade and cool. Bella had started at over 50 feet but now was happily trotting up to about ten feet away from me before turning and running away with Mom.

We decided to change locations and show Bella and her Mom how to do the BAT protocol from behind their house where the driveway intersected a somewhat busy street. We walked to the area and Mom set Bella down.

Only, Bella wasn't having any of it. She would only advance and it became quite apparent that she wanted to approach the grassy knoll beside the sidewalk.

So we listened. 

Even though everything we knew said that the grassy knoll was way too close to the sidewalk, we wanted to see what Bella was trying to tell us.. So we waited for a gap in the traffic and let her scramble onto the three feet of sun and grass beside the sidewalk.

At which point, Bella curled up and laid down happily.

Her Mom laughed and said that one of Bella’s favourite things in the world is sitting in the grass in the direct sun. They would often spend part of their walks like this.

And so we trusted our gut. This was Bella’s happy place. And so we switched back to CC&D. Every time Bella turned to look at an approaching dog or man, her Mom made wonderful food happen.

Bella had already surpassed our expectations earlier, but now we could only stare in wonder. This little dog didn't even blink at dogs and men passing just five feet away.

Trust me when I say we were watching carefully and there to step in if Bella showed any signs of stress or increased anxiety. But she didn't. She just sat and did some of the most wonderful CC&D we have yet seen the pair do.

The real Bella in her happy place!

The real Bella in her happy place!

And this is where we had to step away and think about what we had learned.

Cara has been pushing me to re-evaluate everything we do with an eye towards agency. And today was no exception. We had stopped to listen to what Bella was telling us and then adjusted to support what she needed.

The environment plays a significant role in any behaviour modification (or even training) work. From the Establishing Condition to PREPAREDNESS, the other stimuli involved in a session can significantly hinder or (accelerate) the work you are trying to accomplish.

Put more simply, there are things that will make it easier for your dog and there are things that will make it much harder. And it's only by listening to your dog that you can start to determine what these are. And with dogs, listening means watching and paying attention.

Bella had a CC&D session that even amazed her Mom. She happily sat there while men with carts went by and only a fast moving skateboarder on the street caused even a mild glance from her.

Bella was not only in her happy place, she had chosen to sit here. We just decided to listen and give her a chance to make this choice.

Now that’s not to say that we would have continued to sit there and do CC&D if we saw signs of increasing anxiety or stress in her. But it means that we were willing to modify our program to include her wishes. And with some pretty epic results, we might add.

[top image source: Creative Commons Licensed image from rp_photo on Flickr. Bottom image used with permission from her amazing Mom.]

Say No to Household Fascism

photo courtesy of Andrew Branch

photo courtesy of Andrew Branch

Let's be clear. Most of our clients aren't interested in creating a totalitarian regime over their canine companions. They choose to work with Wildflower because they want to help their dog become a positive and valuable part of their family. And we believe each person within a home has as a unique and individualized relationship to their dog. 

And yet, a week doesn't go by that we don't come across some confusion about "double standards" or whether a single set of rules for their dog is necessary.

I want to unpack this. Let's look at how rules exist in households:

  • Parents are allowed to do things the children aren't, like drink liquor and watch late night TV.
  • Babies are allowed to do things the teenager in the house isn't, like puke on the furniture and throw her food at the dinner table.
  • And grandpa is allowed to do things with his bodily functions that nobody else would ever dare try in the house.

We live in a complex, social web where different rules apply to different people, based on their role, age and their relationship with us. But even these rules aren't applied consistently in every situation.

This is because rules that regulate our behaviour depend entirely on context. And we learn quickly what rules apply to what situations. Figuring this out is a normal part of growing up in any household, community or society.

For example, I wouldn't DARE eat ice cream straight from the container if Mom was home. But Dad didn't care so much. In fact, I'm pretty sure he taught me how to use my spoon to carve out the edge bits without damaging the container.

But touching Dad's tools was a hanging offence. Whereas, if just Mom was home, she seemed relieved if I spent the afternoon outside playing with Dad's tools in the forest (and invariably leaving them in a random trail of rusting metal.)

I could pester my sister endlessly until she agreed to give me the remote control. Not so much when Dad or Mom were nearby. And I don't think Grandma even knew what a remote control or a computer was, so I had total control over the world when grandma came over to watch us for the evening.

Social rules and norms are always contextual. Even in our homes.

It's not about everyone treating your puppy exactly the same. It's about recognizing the relationships involved and helping your little friend to find his loving place in your growing family.  

It's okay if Rover is allowed to sleep on one person's bed but not another's. It's also perfectly acceptable that Mom allows the dog up on her lap for snuggles, but Grandpa prefers to teach a sit and wait.

If there was a place for a consistent set of hard rules, it would be around the training methodology you all agree to use, such as positive reinforcement and force-free methods. Having Mom and Little Sara both using rewards while Grandpa is using aversives, like hitting the dog with a rolled up newspaper, does not always end in a good place for you, your family or your dog.

But short of that, it is totally okay and normal to develop a set of guidelines that are contextual to the individuals and the situations. Rover will learn quickly not to beg at the table and to meet Jimmy in his room to devour all the yucky bits that Jimmy snuck into his socks. My dog certainly did. 

Listen, Humans.

A rabbit, a possum and three mice were right on this spot. Seriously, how cool is that?!

A rabbit, a possum and three mice were right on this spot. Seriously, how cool is that?!

As head dog here at Wildflower Dog Training, I think a lot about agency.

As dogs, we live in a world defined by you apes. Someone else determines when we eat, where we can sleep, if we get to go outside and what is appropriate behaviour when that old lady that smells like pork chops comes over.

And don't get me wrong. This can be pretty sniffilicious. I lucked out and my human does a pretty good job at helping me live a fun life. But sometimes I need help. And sometimes a little more agency is really what I need.

Agency is an ape word for giving us dogs more choices and a voice in our day and life.

And agency can be really helpful for a dog suffering from anxiety that manifests as aggression. Which is why BAT (Behaviour Adjustment Therapy) is such an important tool for our coaches. And with some dogs, the results are nothing short of stunning.

And I'm not just saying that because I run this place. I'm also a client. 

I asked Sean to help me write this blog post because BAT has been super helpful for me in dealing with some of the things that really stress me.

Yeah. I know. It's hard to believe.

But hey, some things really get to me. And allowing me to decide when I've had enough is really, super important. Not only that, I'm told it is like a "safe word". I give the signal and my human turns and runs with me. And that is super cool. I love running! And we're also running away from that worrying bulldog that I know is up to something!

I also love that I choose whether we do another repetition. A big shout out to Chirag Patel for that idea! I would totally give Chirag a big, slobbery kiss if he ever comes back to Canada.

But here's my favourite part of BAT.

My human companion has to start listening to me. It's super awesome. I feel so much more confident when I know what we are working together to get out of stressful situations so I don't have to escalate.

Okay. Enough husky yowling. I've got some squirrel watching to do. Sean says he's going to post his video below.

Smellily yours,

- Sir Tyson

There are no guarantees. No easy fixes. But there is transcendence.

A client recently told me she had previously worked with another dog trainer who guaranteed to “fix” her dog’s issues for life. She felt disappointed when that promise didn’t come true. I felt her pain. I’ve experienced that heartbreak before in own my life. How many times have I searched for and chased “the guarantee”, the easy fix, the escape from reality? The promise of something better with minimal effort on my part. How many times have I walked up to another human and said “X is causing me problems, fix it. I don’t like how this is working. I want something better, shinier, brighter, less complicated, less work. And I want a guarantee it will be fixed pronto". The crazy thing is I’m not talking about getting my dishwasher fixed. I’m referring to internal stuff. Big messy stuff. Career struggles. Relationship struggles. Sentient being struggles. The turmoil that comes from deep within and manifests in my own behaviours that I haven’t always liked. 

I think we often approach our dogs’ behaviours with the same attitude: Fix it. Get rid of it. Make him stop lunging and barking at the dog across the street. And do it quickly at whatever emotional cost it takes.

But here’s the thing I’ve learned. Our dogs are emotional beings and there’s tons of evidence of this coming out of an exciting new field of research exploring canine cognition. We’re discovering our dogs are far more complicated than we ever imagined. Their brains are not dishwashers or furnaces that can be easily fixed overnight and certainly not for life. Our dogs require effort. Time. Understanding. Patience. Deep breaths. Love. And of course a behavioural modification plan ~ but I’ll save that for another post.

Instead of a “fix it” approach to our dogs (and quite possibly ourselves and those we love ~ human and non), I’m proposing something a little more empathetic. Something much more realistic. And something way more humane. A re-think on the fix it now / guarantee for life THING we all think we want but know deep down is impossible. 

This re-think business looks like this…

  • Decide you want to build a trusting relationship with your dog 
  • Commit yourself to a force-free, humane way of working with your dog
  • Recognize a huge part of your dog’s behaviour can be positively influenced by YOU 
  • When things are overwhelming or you’re just not sure, find help (ideally from a well-educated force-free / positive reinforcement trainer)
  • Most importantly, accept there are no easy fixes or guarantees when it comes to behaviour. Yours. Mine. Our dogs. No such thing. Some behaviours are easier to modify than others but there’s no such thing as a “fix”. 
  • It’s a journey, regardless of who it is ~ our dog, our child, our partner, ourselves. We learn, we grow, we evolve, sometimes we fall and take a few steps backwards, but we don’t fix. We fix robots. We don’t fix emotional beings. We transcend. 

And holy smokes can we learn a lot about ourselves from our dogs with this re-think approach. There’s liberation in knowing the goal isn’t to fix. Suzanne Clothier articulates this so well in her book “Bones Would Rain from the Sky: Deepening Our Relationships with Dogs”. 

“Of all the gifts that animals can offer, perhaps the greatest is this opportunity to delve deep inside ourselves. Without judgment or timetables, with patience and an amazing capacity for forgiveness, animals are the ideal guides through our inner landscapes. In moments of glorious agreement as well as moments of frustrated disconnection, our relationships with our dogs serve us well, gently nudging us to a greater understanding of the dynamics of two beings in willing partnership and to new insights into who we are. Once we begin the journey toward the authentic connections we long for, we cannot help but be profoundly changed, often in ways we did not expect but welcome wholeheartedly. A life lived in relationship with an animal has the power to make us both fully human and more fully humane. And this spills over, as a fullness of soul inevitably does, to other relationships, weaving its magic across our entire lives."

Canine coaching Tip #3: There are no guarantees in dog training. No easy fixes. But there is transcendence. Ask yourself, how can I positively impact my dog's behaviour tonight? Tomorrow? For the rest of our lives? And now go do it. 

Check out https://www.dognition.com if you want to learn more about what your dog’s thinking. It’s super cool.

Canine Ladder Of Aggression

The canine ladder of aggression is a simple visual aid explaining how aggression escalates in dogs. Although the behaviours would manifest differently, I suspect it's not that different in other species including those of us calling ourselves Homo sapiens. It's pretty simple. It starts relatively peaceful ~ for example a lip lick or turning away from the stressor. If the stressor persists, fear and anxiety increases and aggressive displays become more obvious and more serious such as a growl, air snap or bite.  All dogs are different and each dog has their own individual tolerance for stress. Also, some dogs have been punished for showing displays that are by all accounts non-violent (e.g. a growl). This can cause them to move up the ladder to a more obvious and serious display of aggression. If your dog could speak it's likely they would say something like this about a stressful situation ~  "Hey, this thing is making me feel uncomfortable. I really want it to go away."

Canine Behaviour Tip #2: NEVER punish a growl. It's information. That simple. Nothing personal. No need to feel embarrassed or upset. It's your dog's way of saying "I need your help before my fear / anxiety escalates up the ladder of aggression." 

Get your copy here. http://veterinarymedicine.dvm360.com/handout-canine-ladder-aggression


Image courtesy of Unsplash

Image courtesy of Unsplash

I spend a lot of time thinking about connection. What does it mean?  What are the benefits of connection? Does it change over time? What gets in the way of connection? What are the components of deep and meaningful connection? Is it volitional? Does it require a plan? Can you measure success? Or is it entirely visceral? Is it perhaps something magical and out of this universe? And what about connection across species? That’s where it gets really complicated. 

Or does it…? 

I also spend a lot of time thinking about dogs. I’m a canine behaviour coach. Which is a fancy way of saying I’m a dog trainer. I became a canine behaviour coach because I’ve always felt a deep connection to dogs. But why? What is it about this interspecies relationship that draws me in and gets me waxing philosophical about the meaning of connection? Ironically, it wasn’t until I started studying the science of behaviour change that I could fully appreciate why this connection to dogs is so profound. Science has lead me straight back to my heart. 

These perspectives I have, echo the work of the brilliant behavioural scientist Dr. Susan Friedman, who in her course "Living and Learning with Animals", details how behaviour has three key components; A, B and C. 

A is what happens right before the behaviour occurs (antecedent). B is the actual behaviour. And C is what happens right after the behaviour occurs (consequence). Here’s the crazy math on this business of behaviour. Behaviour is 2/3’s environmental and only 1/3 the actual behaviour. Perhaps that shocks you! I can hear your response, "Really?  How does that make sense with my misbehaving dog?"  My response is:  "the question we need to ask is '...what does this mean in terms of connection?’ ”

I think it's quite simple but not always easy (believe me I understand) and definitely requires work. 

I believe it starts with committing to a philosophy of how you will care for the animals in your life. My philosophy is in line with the AVSAB recommended standard of care (bottom of pg. 2) and guides the way I train my own dogs as well as my clients. 

The philosophy manifests like this...If you’re kind. If you’re patient. If you’re willing to pause and observe. If you display respectful behaviour (antecedent), most dogs will respond with generosity and goodness of spirit such as move in your direction (behaviour) to solicit your physical affection (consequence). If the dog enjoys physical affection, they’re much more likely to offer this behaviour in the future. Notice the emphasis is on self. Connection requires an awareness of self as much as it does the other being.

This might shed some light on my earlier question about forging an interspecies connection. Is it complicated? I think the answer is no. It’s actually quite simple. However, it takes patience, commitment and little bit of soul searching. Which leads me to my very first Canine Behaviour tip….

Canine Behaviour Tip #1: “If you want to change animal behaviour you have to learn to see, read and change your own behaviour first.” ~ From The Secret History of Kindness: Learning From How Dogs Learn by Melissa Holbrook Pierson.